Mage Kivatnikeh, ''Thank you for this moment'' 

Inad: Great Mage, how are you?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Let’s keep it simple, call me your serene serenitude.

Inad: Say, what is this way of speaking? You remind me of a future ex-president, future ex-minister.

Mage Kivatnikeh: I love it!

Inad: Oh good?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Well yes, I too am for sustainable development. In particular the sustainable development of my portfolio.

Inad: Well, what is the honor of your visit worth to us?

Mage Kivatnikeh: I came to collect my little millions of revenue like every semester.

Inad: Does the clairvoyance scam still work as well?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Better than ever. The more the means of communication develop, the less people talk to each other, the more isolated they are and the more they use our services. I continue to exploit students to tell them what they want to hear, to reassure them about their future while leaving doubt. And believe me, my business is not in crisis! But I come above all for a delicate matter which concerns me greatly.

Inad: The purchasing power of the French is falling, is that it? Do you have a solution to suggest?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Are you kidding? The more people think they are unhappy, the more they call my fake psychics and the more money I make. You don’t think I’m going to burn a candle to change that? I’m like politicians. I make people believe that I’m going to save them but I don’t care about their problems. I’m here for the money.

Inad: What brings you then?

Mage Kivatnikeh: A dark tale of plagiarism.

Inad: Oh good?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Yes, it’s because of the book Thank you for this moment.

Inad: Did you write it?

Mage Kivatnikeh: No. At first I was convinced that it was a book by Zahia on Franck Ribery.

Inad: Oh well, do you think so?

Mage Kivatnikeh: No kidding, have you read it? Do you really believe that it was Valérie Trierweiler who came up with such a rag? Wait, isn’t she supposed to be a great political journalist? No, for me the publisher wanted to make a big splash. You know, we have an anonymous person write a novel, we pay a celebrity to put their name on the cover and presto, a success in bookstores. Except that here, the editor had to hire a silicone doll from Secret Story.

Inad: No, I assure you, it was Valérie Trierweiler who wrote this book.

Mage Kivatnikeh: Well, she’s the one I’m going to sue then.

Inad: For the book? He’s not talking about you…

Mage Kivatnikeh: However, this is plagiarism and I intend to obtain compensation for it.

Inad: Plagiarism? Did you write an identical book about the president?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Not at all. But this lady is using the method I developed to make money.

Inad: What method?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Well, telling people lies while telling them that it’s the truth. Here, just the banner on the cover of the book: “Everything I write is true. I have suffered too much from lying to commit it myself. » When someone insists so much on convincing me that what they say or write is true, I tell myself that there is something wrong. Our clairvoyance scams all start like this. Everything Iyou say is true. Be careful around you, there are lots of liars, people who want your money. We are here to help you. When I tell you that the lady stole my method of making money in such a crisis!

Inad: You don’t think she’s sincere?

Mage Kivatnikeh: As sincere as all the women who call us to order occult work to ruin the life of their ex. I sell them everything they want. Sleight of hand, wax doll, magical herbs of Provence… It costs me nothing, it does them good and it makes me profitable. You know, people when they break up find all the faults in the world in their ex. Love turns into hatred and everything is good to destroy the one we once loved. So we tell the worst things to everyone around us, we wish them all the misfortune in the world. This is all good for my business. But there, Valérie Trierweiler did well. And I tell myself that if all women start to unpack their ex stories in a book, I can stop offering occult works. Part of it at least, because I still have the sick.

Inad: You are hard on Madame Trierweiler. She still went through a very difficult time.

Mage Kivatnikeh: From which she was able to benefit greatly! Talk to all the French women who have been cheated on by their husbands. I bet you a month of scams that not one of them would be able to get back on their feet so quickly to write, 1 month after their breakup and hospitalization, a 300-page book and immediately negotiate a juicy publishing contract. Although, with a big check to boot… Hey, I just had a new idea for treating depression. No more need for a psychologist, a big check and presto, goodbye medications and tissues, hello vacations in the Caribbean!

Inad: We can also see it as a therapy book. A way of exorcising everything she knew as a woman deceived, flouted, mistreated by the man she loved.

Mage Kivatnikeh: You are absolutely right. Moreover, by crossing his date of birth with the date of his meeting with François Hollande, I realized that his life was placed under the sign of the white goose with a snipe house. It is for this reason that despite a DESS in political communication and work as a political journalist, she discovered in 2012 that the political world has nothing to do with paradise on earth. Moreover, when we look at François Hollande, we realize that in May 2012 he was bitten by a werewolf who transformed the friendly care bear into a cynical macho. Don’t tell me that you really believe that you can live with a man for more than 8 years without understanding his character… Ms. Trierweiler is not a teenager stuffed with stupid series. After two divorces, we no longer live in fairy tales. Especially when you have been in politics for several decades. She reminds me more of Charlotte de Sauve than of Cinderella. When I see the number of people who swallow this book without asking any questions, I tell myself that we will continue for a long time to make people believe that a student hiding behind a fake photo can read their future in the hair of a yak and wave a magic wand of 200 euros to change their lives. As a specialist in clairvoyance scams, I have nothing to worry about. Just like trash book publishers.

Inad: You don’t believe this book?

Mage Kivatnikeh: Oh yes, I believe in it: As much as the editor who saw in thisstory a good opportunity to make money. By the way, the guy did well. Selling for 20 euros a compilation of 300 pages of Here, Closer and other Gala, all without the slightest trashy photo. Hat ! You know very well, I am not clairvoyant. I never was. I’m just a first-rate hustler. And believe me, you don’t need to be psychic to guess that it’s just a good financial move.

Inad: Last question. How do you see Valérie Trierweiler’s future?

Mage Kivatnikeh: She will first participate in the next season of Reality TV Angels. Two days after the first episode airs, she will release a book “Thanks for the OCD Ring.” She will tell how she was fooled by Giusepe Polimeno who made her believe that he was a starred chef by serving her boiled potatoes with ketchup. Then she will participate in the Island of Truths which she will leave judging the show too nice…